That Funny Feeling

You have been there. You are enjoying your Epic adventure when suddenly, and maybe not suddenly at all, maybe it is a slowly growing unease, something easily ignored at first, and then…something is wrong. You catch a strange look exchanged between two strangers. A crowd abruptly forms around you. Soft, friendly voices turn into loud angry voices, and the anger is directed at you.

Whatever “it” is, you don’t like it. Your instincts are screaming at you to run or be prepared to fight, and “it” can no longer be ignored.

But what if your travel companion missed “it”? They are distracted or out of viewing range. You need to warn them, but “run for your life” seems a little excessive, or could potentially put you in greater danger.

That’s when you use your code word.

My parents taught me a code word from a young age, to be used by any strangers who approached me offering to give me a lift home. If they knew the code word, they had been sent by my parents, and I could trust them. If they didn’t know the code word, I was to run and yell. I never did use that code word, but I will never forget it.

My husband and I came up with the idea to have a code word after an uncomfortable situation in Costa Rica (check out the full story Costa Rica Windsurfing Adventure). We had driven to a waterfall hike that was very much off the beaten path, where tourists rarely venture. On our drive back to our accommodation in Nuevo Arenal, in a small town about an hour drive away, we stopped for dinner. The owner of the restaurant was very kind and quite excited that a couple of Gringo’s would stop at his establishment. We ordered our meals, and the owner insisted that after dinner we spend the night at his home. We politely declined, saying we had plans for early the next day (windsurfing!). Our dinner came and went, but the bill didn’t, despite repeated requests for “la cuenta, por favor”. Next thing we knew the sun was setting, all the other dinner customers had left, and we were surrounded by men. These men were not customers of the restaurants, but were sitting or standing all around us. We asked the owner what was going on, and he said not to worry, they were his friends and family. And that we were to stay the night. My husband threw some money on the table, thanked the owner for the meal and we marched to our truck with purpose, not looking back, and ignoring the pleas to stay.

Both of us were unnerved. We both had an “off” feeling from the time we ordered our dinner, long before the strangers descended upon us. We chose politeness over listening to our instincts. And we agreed not to do that again. We also played the “why didn’t you say anything” game for a bit, but we both knew that with the English speaking restaurant owner never far out of ear shot, we were afraid to say anything to each other about our discomfort for fear of being overheard and branded as rude. So we decided that going forward we would have a code phrase we would use when one of us felt a situation to be unsafe. This served us well in Peru, where I saw imminent danger while my husband was distracted, although in truth the code phrase went out the window and was replaced with “run!”. (Another “swarming” incident while we stopped to take a picture of a statue in Lima. We had ventured for a full day walk around the city to get our bearings and overcome our jetlag when we found a small city square that was home to a beautiful statue. While my husband was distracted looking for our camera in the bottom of his backpack, we were swarmed by 6-7 young men. Luckily a police officer on a motorcycle witnessed the event, and escorted us to safety).

The Code

I strongly recommend that before you travel, you and your travel companions come up with a word or phrase you can use to convey a possible threat. If the threat doesn’t speak English, “run” or “let’s get the hell outta here” may just work. But in more subtle situations and / or where English speaking / comprehending people are present, you may not want to let on that anything is wrong. We like to use a fake person’s name. For example, “We have to get back as we promised to call Fred tonight to arrange a pickup for the morning”. Your travel companion knows that by saying the name “Fred”, you want to get the hell outta dodge! Or in a swarming incident, “Let’s Fred on out of here”. Or your travel companion wants to try out a restaurant / hotel where you have a bad feeling, “I’m pretty sure the place Fred recommended is just up ahead a bit more”.  If at a complete loss for a creative way to use your code word in a sentence, just saying “Fred” can confuse outsiders while letting your companions know it’s time to go!

If nothing else – coming up with a code word and example situations / phrases will give you and your friends a little game to play to pass time while sitting in the airport on your next adventure!

Be Epic Fred!