Vietnam – Live Life Epic

December 11, 2017December 11, 2017

Day 41: Tam Biet Vietnam

We dropped off Rambo and Groot and thanked them for their service. 4,000 km of incredible riding through Laos and Northern Vietnam.

We enjoyed a lazy day in Hanoi. We took in the Women’s Museum, which was surprisingly good. The English translations were well done and the museum offered great insight into the role of Women in Vietnamese society today and historically. We learned about the hundreds of Vietnamese street vendors, all women, who sell their wares from bicycles and baskets. Fruit, flowers, fried treats. These women come from remote villages in search of work. Up at between 2-4 am to purchase their daily goods from the night market, they spend all day chasing down tourists to buy their wares. They make a couple of dollars a day before retiring to a shared dorm at a cost of 35 cents/day. They return to their villages every few weeks to see their families and pay the bills. These women can only grow enough food on their small family farms to feed their families for a few months. To provide food, clothing and to allow their kids to go to school, they must work in Hanoi selling what they can for a small profit. The men back in the villages, tending to the livestock.

After the museum we enjoyed a traditional Vietnamese treat served on roadside stalls throughout Hanoi. Fruit, red bean jelly and green jelly in a milky sauce. Delicious.

To kill some time before “The Village”, a cultural show playing at the Hanoi Opera House, we hit Pizza 4P’s for cocktails and a cheeseboard. With immaculate service and great food, this place is our go too.

We were skeptical about seeing “The Village”. We were disappointed with every cultural show we saw in Ireland and Laos, and figured this would be another disappointment. However after watching a short promotional video, we decided this had potential. It turned out to be great. The show was extremely professional, the acrobats skilled and the show well choreographed. A day in the life of a small village, something we had witnessed so often during our month in Vietnam, as told through music, dance and acrobatics, set within a beautiful and simple stage design.

Dinner was green papaya salad with dried beef and dumplings. I will miss this meal. This has become my favourite dish in Vietnam.

December 10, 2017

Day 40: Life’s This Game of Inches

Ready to move onto Cambodia and the sun, we left our nice but cold Homestay and charged forward to Hanoi. The road started off fast and fun, the scenery still lush and green. We passed the usual craziness, dogs being brutally stuffed into “too small” cages destined for a market, a group of street racers, careening around corners on their sport bikes, oblivious to the preciousness of life – theirs and ours.

After 100 km we hit the freeway, and traffic and chaos and suicidal drivers and murderous drivers. Another 120 km we hit high speed games of chicken, played between truck and scooter, scooter and scooter. Ahh Hanoi. How I missed thee and your crazy ways. Your stench, your lively buzz, your drive to kill me. Yes I missed thee.

When we left Hanoi we went from the streets of Old Quarter on a lazy, but busy Saturday to the crazy freeways in what felt like a few adrenaline filled minutes. Today we seemed to spend hours stuck in Sunday traffic, dodging completely unaware and oblivious drivers, playing games of chess at 80 km/hr with your life as the prize. Cars, trucks and scooters whizzing by from all directions, merely inches from a serious or fatal crash. I couldn’t help but think of the movie “Any Given Sunday” and the perfect metaphor for life and football and motorcycling in Hanoi.

“But, you only learn that when you start losin’ stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it.”

I love Hanoi. It was good to be back.

After checking into the wonderful Serenity Diamond Hotel it was time to celebrate with a proper meal. Pizza and beer. That could only mean Pizza 4P’s. After several “Heart of Darkness” beers, a devine pizza loaded with cheese and “apple pie” pizza with ice cream, we were ready to tackle the streets of Hanoi and its wonderful Sunday market / street festival by foot. It’s not everyday you see a bunch of skinny Santa’s dancing to Gangnam Style, adults double Dutch skipping, kareoke in the streets (okay, I lied. We did see that everyday), street performances and other festivities that made us happy to be back in the modern world.

December 10, 2017

Day 39: Ba Be National Park

We rode the short 20 km to Ba Be National Park where the protected Ba Be Lake is surrounded by lush, dense jungle. After checking into a lovely Homestay on the Lake (Khanh Toan) we explored some of the backroads before coming across Jun cafe. In the middle of nowhere, kareoke blaring from a pink tent. An odd site, but nothing surprised us much anymore. Ms. Jun rushed out to greet us with a warm smile. “Do you want to eat? This is the first day I’ve been open for the past two days. I was too drunk and tired. Big wedding here. 120 tables of eight people each. And so much rice wine!”

I instantly liked Ms. Jun.

“Such a big bike for a girl. I only see men on big bikes.” She further exclaimed. “What do you want to eat?” All this without taking a breath.

We let Ms. Jun decide what to cook for us. We had a big plate of stir fried noodles with pork and vegetables. It was great.

After lunch Ms. Jun arranged a private boat trip for us. We left Groot and Rambo with Ms. Jun and set out for Dau Dang Waterfall. The highlight of the waterfall was the short walk through lush jungle and gnarled trees to get to it.

What has utterly amazed us is the total lack of wildlife in Vietnam. Even on Cat Ba Island and now Ba Be National Park. Very few birds and no lizards, deer, rodents, wildcats, insects, monkeys. Nothing. Not even a squirrel. The response we got when we asked was simply “cheap protein”. I don’t know if this is factual or if they were being facetious. But it is odd. Lush jungle that is perfectly quiet. No hum of insects or sing song of birds. The only thing we have seen in abundance are beautiful butterflies of all colours and sizes. Some the size of small bats.

After the waterfall was the “fairy pool”. In Canada we would call this a swamp. Vendors sold roasted bananas, dried fish and tiny river shrimp. We bought some interesting looking goodies out of boredom and curiosity. One looked like the treat the border guard gave us in Lao. We bought this out of sentiment. We hoped Jun could tell us what it was once we got back to shore (Bánh Gai or Glutinous Rice Cake). Then it was off to a sad temple on an island. Another stop to sell various unknown goods to tourists and wait on our boat captain to smoke and play cards.

Like all of the tourist attractions we have done in Vietnam, this boat tour was disappointing. And a sign that it was time to leave this beautiful country behind for a new adventure.

The riding has been spectacular. Every day riding through stunning and ever changing scenery. Twisty roads, friendly faces, beautiful villages and a myriad of colourful crops. Mountains and valleys, sunshine and cloud. We’ve loved every minute of it. If motorcycling through Lao and Northern Vietnam wasn’t on your bucket list, it should be.

To do it again we would skip some of the tourist hot spots and do more riding. I would cut out Ba Be National Park and Ban Gioc Waterfall and spend more time riding around Muong Khuong. Cat Ba Island is a toss up. The riding to and from Cat Ba Island was awful freeway driving. Riding around Cat Ba was fun. As far as tourist hot spots, I loved Sa Pa and Tam Coc. Lao was perfect, I wouldn’t change much of that trip. Exploring the backroads of Nong Kiaow and hanging with Sammy are highlights, as are the days of gorgeous riding to get to Luang Prabang.

December 8, 2017December 8, 2017

Day 38: Is it Beach Thirty yet?

Breakfast was just as disappointing as the rest of Saigon Ban Gioc. The eggs were the worst we have eaten in 38 days. Cooked in something that had last cooked fish, they were impossible to choke back. The service was just as awful as the previous evening. I considered providing feedback to the hotel, but it was apparent that management cared as little as the rest of the staff.

Pit stop in Quảng Uyen for an oil change before continuing on in the bone chilling cold to Cao Bang for lunch. We found a rice house full of men. It wasn’t long before these very inebriated gentlemen insisted we join them for a shot of rice wine. I politely declined. The man offering became angry and insisted again. I politely refused again. I could see I was offending him, but I don’t drink and drive. I was causing him deep embarrassment in front of his friends, but I was unwavering. The fourth time my “no thank you” was firm. He was irate at this insult. To save face, my husband quickly shook the mans hand and said he would be honoured to join the man in one drink. I took the cue and shook the mans hand with my other arm across my chest and under the arm being shaken. A sign of great respect. This seemed to calm the man and he had a drink with Shawn. After some awkward chit chat with the very drunk man and his equally drunk friends they left us alone and we quickly paid the bill and left.

Our original route had us going the “long way” to Ba Be National park, via Lang Son and Bac Son. This route would take another 3-4 days before arriving in Ba Be National park. However the detour to Lao had put us behind schedule and we were growing tired of Vietnam. We were ready to ditch the down jackets and endless noodle soup for a change in scenery and some warm weather. We decided to make a beeline to Ba Be National park, arriving in Cho Ra at 4:30 pm. A 218 km day on easy, fast moving freeways. There was some truck traffic, but they were either slow and thus easy to pass, or hammering along at maniacal speeds, making them amusing to follow. They cleared a path for us while leaving a wake of destruction for oncoming traffic. The most interesting part of the drive was a bull fight on the side of the road. Two large bulls in a heated wrestling match, with scooters scattered about as people hurriedly parked to watch the show.

Checked into the pleasant and clean Khach San Hoa Sim Hotel (400,000 VND), overlooking a small market across the street. With large rooms, good wifi and a balcony, it already far surpassed the overly priced Saigon Ban Gioc.

Dinner was a picnic in our room. Tuna sandwiches with laughing cow cheese, tomato and red pepper. Dessert was mango and yoghurt. No mo Pho!

December 8, 2017

Day 37: Ban Gioc Waterfall

We woke up to our bunkmate, John, letting us know it was 7:30 am. It was a decent enough sleep all things considered. The disgusting bathroom with a “present” left on the toilet seat, dirty tea cups, dirty ashtray, lack of sheets and general filth of a room not cleaned since being built decades ago. Our snoring bunkmate.

We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with our new friends. Chicken soup made from a chicken slaughtered that morning at our hotel. After pictures and goodbyes, we set off in opposite directions. It was 10:00 am. Plenty of time to make it to Ban Gioc Waterfall.

Ban Gioc Waterfall is proclaimed to be Vietnam’s most beautiful waterfall. It straddles the border with China, and is one of the fourth largest waterfalls on an international border. Only 60 meters high, it’s beauty comes from its 300 meters of width and cascading three levels.

After a unique lunch experience in an unknown town, thick noodles with a dark brown sauce consisting of mystery meat and bean, and our first real dessert in Vietnam, frozen yoghurt with fruit and jellies, we made it to Ban Gioc by 2:30 pm. Added bonus, I found a decent looking Chocolate donut with gold sprinkles in the unknown town. A perfect treat for Shawn.

We checked into a hotel recommend by the friends we had spent the previous evening with. At 1.2 million VND per night, 3-4 times what we typically pay, this was a splurge. The Saigon Ban Gioc. A large, vacant resort. Not advertised on any of the Hotel booking websites we tried, we have no idea how you would know this hotel exists. And because it is the only hotel in town, there are a few shadey guesthouses, you wouldn’t just show up here expecting to spend the night – at least not at a million dong a night. And so we had the expansive, overpriced hotel to ourselves. We were celebrating after all.

Although a nice enough looking place, the undertrained staff and being the only two people in the resort and restaurant made it an uncomfortable and cold experience. We couldn’t order a cocktail because the cocktail menu was in English, so our unfriendly waitress just shrugged and walked away. The wifi didn’t work in our room or anywhere on the property. The dozens of staff just watched us with unfriendly eyes. At the restaurant we were sat at an uncleaned table, while beautifully made up tables sat empty around us.

After checking in we headed off to the waterfall. Another underwhelming experience. The waterfall is beautiful and it is somewhat fun to watch boats leave from both the China side and Vietnam side to meet under the waterfall. We took the boat and it was definitely a better way to appreciate the waterfall. But compared to the waterfalls in Lao and the “hype” it wasn’t something I would make a special trip to see. Maybe seeing it in rainy season would change my mind. We did enjoy freshly roasted chestnuts being sold at the waterfall. I small reminder of Christmas around the corner.

After the waterfall we climbed to the pagoda which offers a better view to appreciate the full size of the waterfall, the upper falls hidden when standing at the base.

Dinner of fish and pumpkin was tasty, despite the uninviting and lifeless ambience. We played music through our iPhones which almost gave the large empty space some missing pizazz.

And we still managed to get drunk. Where there’s a will…

Or where there is untrained staff. Ordering a “shot” of rum to go with our fresh passion fruit juice resulted in a glass of rum. Well, if you insist.

December 6, 2017December 6, 2017

Day 36: Is there MSG in my beer?

After a breakfast of steamed pork buns and fresh mango, we left Dong Van at 9:30 am under cloudy skies and a cool 11 degrees. The first 22 km to Meo Vac would take us through Ma Pi Leng Pass. The pass wraps around jagged limestone cliffs, and below the road the cliff falls away steeply to the Nho Quo river valley below. Despite the cloud we could see row upon row of Karst mountain, each row growing more faded before disappearing entirely. The road was in great shape and we made good time despite several photo and video stops.

We arrived in Bao Lac a little after 1:00 pm to yet another flat tire. Shawn’s rear tire had a gash in it. The gash held several rocks, one that was sharp enough to pierce through to the tube. The third Xe May (motorcycle repair shop) in town was willing to help us. The mechanic was close to a bakery where we bought hot dog pizza buns and what I think was a honey chicken bun for lunch. Shawn repaired the first tube with no luck. Still leaking air. After patching both the tire and second tube with two patches each, we were ready to roll. Now 3:30 pm, it would be almost impossible to make it to Cao Bang, still 120 km away. It gets dark at 5:30 pm, and these roads are not something you want to navigate in the dark. The bike mechanic told us it would take 3 hrs to get to Cao Bang. This aligned to the blogs we read. The smart thing to do was to call it a day and spend the night in Bao Lac. But Bao Lac was uninviting and we weren’t ready to call it a day. So we gambled. We hoped we would find a Nha Nghi somewhere before dark.

We rode on. We thought we could make good time on the not as curvy road that led out of Bao Lac. Unfortunately buffalo traffic and miles of road construction that had resulted in loose gravel on the road made the ride slow. Dusk turned to dark quickly in a sh!t hole town about 65 km before Cao Bang. We found what looked like a decent hotel. It looked closed. As we sat on the side of the highway in the growing blackness, three bikes turned into the hotel parking lot. A BMW 800 GS and two Honda XR’s. We followed them in. The group consisted of an American, John, a Vietnamese/ American couple and a Vietnamese couple. We chatted with the group briefly and learned they were also desperately looking for accommodation as it was now pitch black. They spoke with the hotel manager. The deserted hotel had rooms for us all. We sighed with relief. No heater, but a room.

Then the arguing started. An old man had showed up and apparently there was now a problem. We were being told there were no rooms available. A coach bus had booked 7 of the 9 rooms. The other motorcycle group had 5 people in their group. We were disheartened. 10 km from the next town. In the dark this would mean a terrifying hour of navigating roads with sheer cliffs for ditches, avoiding sleeper buses and watching for the ever present livestock. This wasn’t good.

We started to pack up. I was anxious to get the inevitable over with. Shawn was slow to leave, determined to make something work – even if it meant sleeping on the restaurant floor. One of the Vietnamese speaking Americans had a solution to propose. Although there were only two rooms, each room had two twin beds. If we were willing to share a room with John, the other four were willing to cram into the other available room to make sure no one had to ride the dangerous roads at night. We were relieved and thankful at the kindness. Motorcyclists stick together.

And I was ready for a beer. Really ready for a beer. The beer here is addictive. Not usually a big beer drinker, I crave beer here. I’m pretty sure there is MSG in it.

We enjoyed dinner, corn wine and rice wine with our new friends and bunk mates.

December 5, 2017December 5, 2017

Day 35: Karst Life

Breakfast was enjoyed on the outdoor patio of Quang Dung restaurant where we could watch the daily life of Dong Van.

We like Dong Van. Incredibly quiet, friendly people and a few restaurants and hotels that cater to Westerners. It’s been an enjoyable place to vacation for a few days. It has also given us time to explore the area by foot and reflect on our time in Vietnam.

While enjoying breakfast we watched as a tiny, young woman struggled to carry a bag of rice that had to weigh at least 30 lbs. She was carrying it down the street towards a scooter where a man impatiently waited for her. He didn’t lift a finger to help her. She loaded the rice onto the back of the scooter and they drove away.

After breakfast we headed out for a morning of trekking. As we made our way to the start of the trail that would lead us to an old French fort, we witnessed a man hitting his wife. He punched her in the face. I was shaking with rage as Shawn reminded me of all the reasons we couldn’t get involved. Although Shawn seemed calm, there was an edge to his voice.

The man kicked her.

I started to walk over to them, wanting to give this small coward a fair fight. Shawn, always the rational one to counter my impulsive personality, held me back. His reasoning getting through to me. A caucasian woman embarrassing this man would only make matters worse for the woman, and would likely land us in jail in a foreign country. As I turned to walk away, tears of frustration in my eyes, I noticed the little boy who was with the couple. Maybe 5 or 6 years old. He was clearly used to witnessing this behaviour. He calmly collected books off the ground, books his mother had dropped when the first blow struck.

We weren’t the only onlookers. A group of local men hanging around the market square watched intently as the scene unfolded, but they too failed to get involved.

I cannot comment on how common domestic violence might be in Vietnam, and it’s certainly a problem we also face in North America. This is, however, the first time we have witnessed anything like this in Vietnam. What we have also witnessed is how incredibly hard the women work, while the men do very little. A female guide confirmed for us that the woman is fully responsible to raise the children, cook and clean, tend to the livestock, walk miles to the weekly markets, walk steep mountainsides carrying wood and feed for the buffalo, tend the gardens and crops and tend the businesses. We have rarely seen a man do anything besides drive trucks, drive supply chain scooters or work as bike mechanics. None of these physically strenuous. We were told the men are lazy, and from what we have seen this appears to be true.

After our solemn morning we set off on a trek to burn off some of the frustration. We climbed to a 100 year old French Fortress that overlooks the town of Dong Van. From here we could see numerous winding roads that climbed away from Dong Van and disappeared into the valleys beyond. Shawn pointed at one for us to explore after lunch.

After the short climb to the French Colonial Fortress we decided to attempt one of the steep tracks used by the ethnic village women to haul their wares. Slippery, steep and rocky. The path led us to incredible views of the Karst mountains and Dong Van below. It also helped us appreciate the agility and fitness of the women, young and old, who climb this path daily, weighed down by bamboo baskets filled with wood, feed and numerous other items.

After our trek it was time for lunch and time to get back onto the bikes to explore deeper into the surrounding area. We took a back road through Tu Lan towards Meo Vac. We came across women hauling large rocks to a crusher, and then wheelbarrowing the resulting gravel to create a road.

Dinner was once again at Green Karst. The owner takes great pride in her restaurant and the food and drinks are great!

December 4, 2017December 4, 2017

Day 34: Exploring Dong Van On Foot

Aka Laundry Day.

You always want to pack as light as possible when living off the back of a motorcycle, and in Asia it’s inexpensive to get your laundry done, so we brought minimal clothes with us. Most of the time laundry is an overnight service, but you usually have to wait until 10:00 am or so to get your laundry. We like to be on the road by then. Furthermore, they don’t have clothes dryers in Northern Vietnam, they hang dry. In the high humidity that means it can take a few days for your clothes to fully dry. After several days of wet and muddy riding, and wearing the same motorcycle pants every day for a month, it was time for a break from the road and time to get our laundry done. We decided to get a nicer hotel in Dong Van (clean, good sized and has heat) to hunker down for a few days.

Today we had different thoughts on what to do. I needed some exercise and wanted to explore the area by trekking. Shawn wanted to try some of the incredible off road tracks. So after breakfast and a short walk to explore the town’s Old Quarter, we set off to explore Dong Van each in our own ways. This was after we tried a trek together and got lost, a man on a scooter returning us to town with directions on where he thought we should go. It was the original route that Shawn decided to tackle by motorcycle. This was the correct route after all.

I headed off on a soil and rock track towards Thon Si Fai village. After several days of riding the trekking was a wonderful opportunity to be a part of the landscape, not just a tourist whizzing through it. I became just another woman climbing the steep landscape with a bag on her back. It was fantastic. Once I overcame my fear.

Fear.

We needed a day off the bikes. The last few days of riding had been overwhelmingly nerve wracking. The constant fear of the presence of an oncoming vehicle through a blind corner, the special sing song sound of the bus horns. A pleasant sound that once known will strike fear into the heart of every other driver. Even the trucks will hurriedly get out of the way for a bus driver. They are beyond crazy and usually drunk off rice wine, and they rule the road. I was sick of being scared. I needed a day of trekking to relax and calm my mind and frayed nerves.

But first I had to overcome my fear. I had to overcome my fear of the dogs. While motorcycling in Peru years ago, a crazed and potentially rabid dog chased us. And when I say chased, I mean he was lunging at our throats, determined to make a kill. Since then I have become deathly afraid of the seemingly stray dogs that roam freely in foreign countries. As Shawn and I were walking this morning a large dog lunged at us. Luckily he was on a chain and Shawn was present, so after my initial terror I calmed down. But setting off to go trekking alone, I was on full alert. Every dog I saw set me on edge. I wanted to turn back, but kept forcing myself to walk just another 50 feet, just to the next house, just to the top of the next hill. In no time I had forgotten the threat of the dogs and was lost to the surrounding beauty and buzz of daily life in the most remote areas of Northern Vietnam. Scooters buzzing in the distance, just barely visible, on an incomprehensible network of dirt tracks leading to small pockets of villages, a few houses in each. Old women, no taller than 4 feet, busy at work in the fields. Carrying heavy loads larger than themselves up and down the steep valley walls. Kids playing a game much like hacky-sack. Drifts of smoke rising from the fields as garbage is burned. A pack of men, a dozen at least and reeking of sweat and rice wine, swarming me to help me find my way. I turned back after two hours of trekking through remote roads. There was an incredible boom as the ground shuddered. It sounded like an explosion, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many unexploded ordinances there might be in Northern Vietnam, and if this could be one either deliberately or accidentally set off.

Dinner at the friendly Quảng Dung Restaurant. An English menu with prices, and a certificate on the wall! We had the honey chicken (something we missed out on in Sa Pa) and stir fried vegetables. Both were great – the best chicken we’ve had in Vietnam. Sadly this isn’t saying much. Usually a “safe food” when travelling, the chicken in Vietnam has largely been inedible for Western tastes. Bone, gristle and cartilage with little to no meat. We’ve learned to only order chicken in restaurants that cater to tourists. The rest of the time, pork, beef and fish are our “go-to”.

Back to Green Karst for hot chocolate and Chum Vang. While there a young man (who was dipping his fingers in other tables side dishes of MSG) offered us a shot of the rice wine or “happy water” the locals drink. It was poured from a repurposed water bottle. Shawn is pretty sure that with the quantity of happy water this guy drank, he must be a bus driver. Likely the “sleeper bus” to Hanoi that left in an hour.

This shit may make you happy, but it definitely lacked the smoothness of the Chum Vang. I’ll stick with CV!

Note: Featured Image is of the town of Dong Van, with triangle flowers / buckwheat flowers in the foreground. The Triangle Flower Festival is held every year in the province of Ha Giang and runs from October through the end of December each year. The festival features the beautiful, soft pink buckwheat flowers which add a beautiful contrasting colour to the otherwise brown, green and gray of the Karst mountains.

December 3, 2017

Day 33: Take A Picture With Your Mind

“Take a picture with your mind, Christine”. I am young, maybe six. I can still hear my mom’s voice as she sits in the passenger seat of our van. I’m in the back seat, admiring the most beautiful sunset over the foothills of the Canadian Rockies. I still have these pictures from my youth. Mostly just memories of memories by now.

My mom taught me a lot. This is one of the lessons I’ve held onto very tightly my entire life. In this lesson my mom taught me how to live in the moment and to really see what I was looking at. She also taught me how to hold onto the perfect moments and shed the rest.

Today I listened to my mom’s voice as we cruised by incredible beauty. Today’s beauty wasn’t just the Karst Mountains, which are truly spectacular, but the people who inhabit them.

It’s Sunday. Sunday market day. The women of the villages dress in their most beautiful and colourful traditional clothes and walk for miles and hours through incredibly challenging terrain to visit the Sunday market. Here they will buy, trade and sell the goods required for their households to survive another week. Every larger town has a Sunday Market. Today as we rode we were witnesses to the many women walking along the roadside in their most beautiful rainbow skirts and colourful head dresses, carrying their bamboo baskets full of wares.

As we cruised along a particularly beautiful green valley, set between two of the rolling limestone hills, we saw an older woman carrying an impossible load of wood on her back as she climbed a steep path set up and over the valley. I took a picture with my mind. I don’t want to forget her. Her beauty and grace in the face of a tremendous challenge.

First stop was a cultural village where we were swarmed by children looking for candy. I had some of course. Although not usually keen on giving candy to kids – this is their shtick at this particular village, so candy they got. In return I got smiling faces of amazement as we took a selfie video. The kids thrilled to see their own angelic faces waving back.

Next stop was the H’Mong King’s Palace. A touristy and busy attraction that I couldn’t wait to leave.

The Ride:

We left Yen Minh at 10:00 am this morning, headed for Dong Van with an additional loop to Lung Cu, Vietnam’s “North Pole”. This voyage is popular with young Vietnamese tourists who wear t-shirts with the flag of Vietnam and travel in large groups on scooters, waving and cheering us as we pass.

The ride to Lũng Cu is spectacular. The road winds around the Karst Mountains, providing glimpse after glimpse into the various valleys below. Riding along the steep side slope is both nerve wracking and exciting, until the sing song tune of an oncoming tour bus forces you out of your reverie to concentrate on the hazard that is about to mow you down.

Lũng Cu itself offers a staircase to a large flagpole with the flag of Vietnam proudly snapping in the breeze. You gaze over the valley into China, only 2.5 km away. Here we were offered “sweet and sour” candy buy two beautiful Vietnamese women. I couldn’t decide if I loved or disliked the candy. Sweet and incredibly tart, I couldn’t stop eating it.

After non stop riding for several days, we needed to hunker down somewhere long enough to have our laundry done and recharge our batteries. The Hoang Ngoc Hotel was the perfect place to call home for a few days. Modern and clean in the cute and glitzy town of Dong Van. Dinner at Green Karst, a wonderful restaurant with pictures of every dish! Karaoke music in the background and Chum Vang rice wine topped off another great day.

December 2, 2017

Day 32: Stuck in the Middle With Groot

Driving in Vietnam. It’s mental. It’s certainly not for beginners or the faint of heart.

It’s hard to describe the utter chaos. An example will have to do.

There are no lanes. I mean sure there might be some painted on the main roads, but they don’t mean anything. Everyone drives down the middle of the road. Trucks and buses will pull out into oncoming traffic to pass slower trucks. In a world of scooters, trucks can do what they want. On a motorcycle you just have to move as far right as possible, pick your line on the very edge of the road, and hold it with great confidence. You might be within inches of the truck. This is not the time to lose faith in your driving skills.

Now, while this is happening you have to deal with the side streets. Cars and scooters will pull out from side streets without looking. Let me repeat this. A scooter will drive at full speed out of a side street into a busy highway without looking.

Today while leaving Ha Giang this is one of the many times I’ve had to deal with this situation. An oncoming truck pulled out into “my” lane, I moved right, just as a car pulled out from the right pushing me back into the trucks path. A quick, hard serve left followed by an even harder and quicker swerve right.

I immediately shook my head and said out loud, “clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with Groot.” This mantra seemed to be repeated multiple times today.

Thirty kilometres after leaving the town of Ha Giang we rode into Dong Van Karst Plateau, a UNESCO Global Geopark. Ha Giang is a poor province. This is partially attributed to the fact that the hills haven’t been cultivated. The result is the first untouched and wild landscape we have seen in Vietnam. Karst mountains that resemble tall, pointed hills. Fairy Bosoms as they are called. From above when two of the hills are the same size, they look like perfect breasts coming out of the ground.

The road? Perfect. Windy but fast. Without stopping, the 100 km to Yen Minh could likely be covered in two hours. But you will stop. The views are once again stunning, and completely different from the rice paddies and mountains.

First stop. Video of the scooter delivering flowers. We had seen some crazy shit on scooters, but I was in awe of this scooter. It had flowers strapped to every single inch. The result was a large, colourful bouquet sailing down the road, through tight corners and up the karst mountains.

Second stop. Information centre. Climb to the observation deck for wonderful views of the Fairy Bosoms. For some reason people were stopping here to take pictures of the Quan Ba sign, surrounded by the famous triangle flower, but were not climbing to the pagoda that offered the best views of the valley below.

Lunch was at a common rice eatery in Quan Ba. Fish, tofu and green beans. We try to pick a rice house based on it being busy with locals. This usually indicates the best place in town. Why was this particular rice house picked? It was busy, sure, but with two colourful flower delivery scooters. I continued to be in awe.

After lunch we visited what is the best cave we’ve seen in Vietnam. The Lung Khuy cave. It was a picturesque, short but steep, climb to the cave. The road to get to the cave would have been worth it alone.

After the cave it was off to Yen Minh. The fast and curvy road continued to offer stunning views. And traffic. Renting a motorcycle to tour Ha Giang province has become extremely popular for young Vietnamese and International tourists. Still largely undeveloped, the region has exploded with motorcycle tourism in the past few years. The lack of tourism to date was evident in Yen Minh where it was surprisingly difficult to find decent accommodation or dinner. We were shooed away from several restaurants, some closed and some busy, before settling on a nearly empty, roadside eatery advertising hot dogs. It looked unpromising. It turned out to be wonderful. The owner was the first friendly vendor in Ha Giang and offered us beef hot pot. We were delighted with a huge bowl of steaming broth full of vegetables set over a gas hot plate. Accompanied with a plate of greens, potatoes, sweet potatoes and squash, and another plate of raw beef. It was a fun adventure to cook our soup on the roadside, quickly attracting other tourists to the hole in the wall that was “good enough” for the Westerners. It sure beat the plate of French Fries the couple from France settled on.

The traffic on the road was the typical Vietnam traffic. Buses, trucks and scooters. Only today it had the added challenge of Western tourists with no clue how to ride. It’s become cool to replicate Top Gears motorcycle adventure from Saigon to Ha Long Bay. We had met many tourists who had sold their Honda Wins to completely novice riders, set out to buy custom silk suits, art work and statues. Driving out of Hanoi was terrifying enough. As a rookie driver? Completely stupid.

Not to say that experience and confidence can get you out of every situation. Sometimes you just make the wrong call. This happened to me while riding to Yen Minh. Cruising along the highway and enjoying the clouds finally breaking over the Karst Mountains, a scooter came down a side road and onto the highway, of course without looking, and directly into my path. I slammed on the breaks, locking them, and went into the ditch. The scooter occupants witnessed this and laughed before continuing on their way, not bothering to make sure I was ok. Motorcycle accidents are so common here, it’s not even worth pulling over for. Thankful for the elbow pads and with the help of a man who witnessed the spectacle, lifted Groot out of the ditch. I couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the valley I was looking into. A strange way to be reminded to stop to smell the roses.

Spent the night at the grungy Nha Nghi Binh An. Small rooms, grumpy staff and the dirtiest sheets to date. In Asia, that’s saying something. Next time I would try Tom’s Hostel. A shared bathroom, but large and clean rooms.